Staying In the Here and Now
Have you ever stopped to notice how much of your time is spent thinking about either the past or the future rather than what is happening at this very moment? As a therapist, I have the privilege to talk to a lot of people about their thoughts and one thing that stands out to me is how much of our thinking is not present tense. This can look like worrying about some upcoming event, reliving some unpleasant or embarrassing moment from the past, or playing out several different “what if” scenarios in our head.
It has been my observation that most anxious thinking is what I like to call “borrowing worry from the future.” An endless and exhausting loop of thoughts about situations that are usually worst-case scenarios that may never occur. A teenager spending countless minutes imagining a variety of embarrassing situations that COULD happen…a parent running through every version of bad choice or danger their child MIGHT encounter…a person ruminating on what they SHOULD do to guarantee they stay safe, healthy, and happy. The human brain is amazing in its creativity, and this is rarely more apparent than in the countless ways a person can worry.
I would never argue there is no benefit from imagining the future and trying to make choices that give us the best shot at being happy and healthy, but often future based thinking is about what could go wrong rather than what could go right. What if we could strike a balance between rational assessment of the future AND and a clear and present focus on what is right in front of us?
Staying in the present isn’t an easy task, but I believe it’s one of the most valuable in terms of overall wellbeing. It starts with a commitment to noticing when your thinking isn’t about what IS happening, but instead what COULD happen. Noticing is the first step because it’s nearly impossible to change a thought if you don’t realize you’re thinking it! Next is cultivating the ability to gently guide your thinking into the present. This is most often some version of self-talk (e.g., “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I will handle whatever tomorrow brings” or “I can’t solve a problem that hasn’t happened yet”). Remind yourself to deal with what IS happening to replace “what if” thoughts.
Doing things to help focus on the present can be very useful. For example, physical grounding techniques can be of particular benefit for bringing your attention to your body and therefore into the present moment. Physical grounding can be focusing on your breath, closing your eyes and really noticing your body (e.g., “I feel the pressure of my feet touching the ground”), using your senses to connect with the environment (e.g., I see____, I hear____, I feel____, I smell_____, I taste___), and doing activities that you can fully pay attention to.
Being fully present takes practice but setting aside worry to be an active and intentional participant in the here and now is worth it!
Therapy can be a great way to learn ways to change your thinking. If you would like more information on mindfulness training and present tense thinking please feel free to reach out to us at Narayan Therapy Services.
